Sweeney Todd: Pleasant, gruesome dark musical comedy has some ordinary songs

* * * 1/2 (Out of 5)


Tim Burton is the perfect director for a macabre piece of business like Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street . This is the story of a barber, long considered dead, who comes back to reign vengeance on those who stole his life away. Back in the 1800s, it seems people didn't go to a barber so much for a haircut as a shave, and Sweeney's trusty tools are these straight, silver razors that will cut a throat in a flick of a wrist.

This story is told with very dark humor and the songs of Stephen Sondheim. My only previous knowledge of Sondheim's work was with the overrated Funny Thing Happens on the Way to the Forum and his lyrics for West Side Story. Love WSS, but that music had you singing and tapping its themes long after you watched it. A minute after I heard a Sweeney Todd song I couldn't repeat the theme. But while the songs are throwaway, at least they don't distract from Burton's eye-popping visuals. The scenes of old London come to life and I sat there thinking, Burton should make his own version of A Christmas Carol.

The blood while plentiful, is just fake looking enough to not be overly gross, but the violence is very real indeed. When a victim gets his throat slashed, Johnny Depp's Sweeney hits a foot lever which turns the barber chair over backwards and drops the "customer" through a trap door where his body slides until his head takes a crashing blow on the cement floor below. This movie had the charm and color tones of Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas. Depp's and Helena Bonham Carter's gothic, pasty faces are a great contrast to the sunny, beach days along the English Channel.

Depp is becoming an even better English actor than an American one and his singing here is strong as he mimics the style of David Bowie. He mimicked Keith Richards mannerisms for Capt. Jack Sparrow and wins again with his role here. When he screams in anger, with or without his blades, man or child he scares you. Carter may be even better. Her role is one of seemingly helpful assistant, but does she have more up her sleeve?

Die Hard's Alan Wickman radiates evil, but is onscreen much too little. His sidekick, Beadle Bamford, played by one of my favorite character actors, Timothy Spall, is pure fat malice. If they ever remake Chitty Chitty Bang Bang , Spall would make a perfect Childcatcher. With his ferret nose and rat teeth, he is sure to give kids plenty of nightmares. Unfortunately, my boy Borat himself, Sasha David Cohen disappoints as Signor Perelli, London's rival barber. He struts and hams for the screen, but he when he plays a role that's not his own creation he kind of falls flat. His most inspired moment is when he beats his young apprentice, because it is so unexpected.


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Shoot 'Em Up is in the same league as Crank, but not as much fun

* * * (out of 5)

Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti and Monica Bellucci: How could you go wrong? Well they don't necessarily go wrong here, but they do miss a few turns. Who knew that Crank would be the Citizen Kane of action-porn? By action porn I mean unadulterated action with very little plot holding it all together. Shoot 'Em Up is more of the same, but without the laughs that made Crank such a hoot.

Oh Shoot... goes for laughs, but they are so mean-spirited that it's hard to find humor in them. For instance, a bad guy in a quiet moment reaches for the naked breast of a dead woman who's not only just been shot, but also just gave birth. The filmmakers were clearly going for laughs, but do we as an audience have to stoop that low for them. Women are often treated poorly in action films, but here they are viewed as more disposable possessions than most times.

On the other hand, the movie does pull off what it sets out to do. To be the most outrageously, outlandishly over-the-top action movie ever made. Starting 1 minute into the film we have a shoot-out taking place while the hero is trying to help that woman give birth. He shoots out an oil tank so that he can slide beneath a car to shoot two guys as he emerges. He jumps through two windows at once even though they are separated by a 90 degree angle. He jumps from one building to another with a 10-minute old newborn in his arms through a closed window with only his bare hand protecting the baby's bald head and neither baby nor him gets a scratch.

If you know what you are in for, it's mostly a fun ride. But oddly enough all that action eventually gets tedious, when the good guy has little chance of getting seriously hurt. More and more I realize that is what separates Die Hard from most other action movies. Halfway through a Die Hard, Bruce Willis already needs a trip to the Emergency room, yet he sucks it up and saves the day. In most other movies, good guys get their injuries if at all towards the end. Convenient.

Clive Owens was turned down as the new James Bond and while I don't think that was a mistake, I do believe he will spend the next several years trying to prove it was. Giamatti can play good guys with aplomb, but he plays bad guys with such great delight. Bellucci is wasted here as a common prostitute. One of the greatest actresses in Italy should be able to find better parts here in America.

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Heath Ledger--Career and life were as bright and short as a Roman Candle

Heath Ledger was cool. That's something that no acting school can teach you. I'm not saying he was Steve McQueen cool, nobody is Steve McQueen cool, but Heath was cool in almost every role I saw him in. Your eyes followed him and you wanted to hang out with that guy. He was also convincingly tough. Another trait that can't be taught. In "10 Things I Hate About You", a highly underrated teen film, he played cool and tough in a stylish way that made you take notice. The only young American actor I can equate him to is Josh Hartnett.

But he was also a damn fine actor. Able to ditch the Australian accent convincingly for big American roles. As Mel Gibson's son in The Patriot, Billy Bob Thornton's son in Monster Ball and his biggest role, as Ennis in Brokeback Mountain.

I get ribbing for this by friends, but my buddy Bob Donoho and I both agree that A Knight's Tale is a great movie. Ledger's performance as a kind of surfer dude Sir Lancelot is one of a kind, as is the movie. The mixture of modern rock and ancient customs gave me chills and laughs the first few times I saw it. Ledger anchors the whole thing by never winking at the screen. Yes it was comedic, but not meant to be a broad comedy. He understood that and never overplayed it. It was a big role for such a young actor and he brought it home with a fine touch.

The trailer I saw several times in theatres for the new Batman, called The Dark Knight, drew the biggest crowd response for one character, Ledger's maniacal Joker. I hope it is a crowning glory on a much too short career/life.

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The Water Horse: Loch Ness movie's real mystery--Who's it made for?

* * * (out of 5)

Taking place during World War II, the movie starts off very well as a lonely young boy named Angus discovers an interesting looking rock on a beach in Scotland. He brings it home to find out it's an egg for some odd reptilian creature. The discovery of the creature is a great joy for Angus and it is very important that he keeps his new pet hidden.

His father is a sailor fighting for the King of England and his mother is in charge of maintaining a large estate for a Lord who is elsewhere. When the Army commandeers the estate for war reasons, it is more important than ever that he keeps his father's tool shed and the creature's home away from their snooping eyes.

The first half has a fun, sweet feel like ET, but with more mischief in its eye. But the second half reminds me of Free Willy too much. And is so loud and unsettling for small children, that a little girl was literally crying in my row. Her mother had to cuddle her for the last 20 minutes and I started to wonder, who did they make this movie for? If it's too predictable for adults and too scary for kids, who's left?

Funnily enough, it stars Alex Etel as Angus, who is fast becoming a great child actor and was in one of my favorite kid movies of the last few years, Millions. But Millions gave my friend's kids nightmares because of a certain scene. Therapists in years to come are going to talk about the Etel-Effect, a mental disorder caused by a series of disturbing movies that young Alex starred in.
This movie was directed by Jay Russell, who made a great animal feature called My Dog Skip. While this movie has some of the heart of that film, it lacks its originality.

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Cloverfield is the most original monster movie in a LONG Time

* * * * * (out of 5)


When it comes to monster movies you start with King Kong and Godzilla and everything after is born from that pair. To see a creature attack modern Manhattan is not a new concept, it happened just 10 years ago in the underappreciated remake of Godzilla. So what would a filmmaker have to do to add new life to this story? Let the victims tell it.

The grandfather of movies that victims tell is of course The Blair Witch Project. This movie is evenly divided among those who loved it (like me) and those who hated it. The final scene was so disturbing that I couldn't shake it for days. This Cloverfield movie has a similar way of sneaking into your subconscious. I slept after seeing it, but was overcome with nightmares throughout the night. Very disturbing.

Why, because it breaks down that fourth wall. You are no longer watching a silly monster movie that you were able to distance yourself from when you were 11 years old, but a real-time, real-life tale of terror that could be translated in so many different ways. The first 20 minutes of the movie are so important as to how engrossed you will later become.

In those 20 minutes we see this nice, young couple filming each other after spending a night together in a Manhattan high-rise apartment, the video tape suddenly jumps to a month later when the young man is about to be surprised at a going-away party. His best friend is using his camera now to capture "goodbyes" from all the party guests. We get sort of caught up in the mini-drama between this "going away" man and his now ex-girlfriend, when what feels like an earthquake hits. It is this low-key, recreation of mundane normal life that feels so real that makes the next 1:10 seem so hopelessly real.

The key scene is after the monster wreaks havoc down their street. We don't see the monster because everyone is hiding. When people come up to see the trail of destruction it is all too similar to the street scenes after the first tower fell on 9/11. People dazed and covered in dust. Crushed cars and fires here and there. This movie becomes a 9/11 story told through a monster movie.

I also got another weird feeling watching it. Imagine how much worse 9/11 would have been if it had taken place in the dark. What kind of chaos there would have been in the streets.

There are some funny moments, provided by the goofy friend/cameraman, but this is still a straight-on dramatic telling with no Saturday matinee one-liners to lighten the psychological load. And we hear virtually no official word on what we are seeing. Except for the handful of times the main characters come across a TV with snippets of information, we are left in the dark as to what this creature is and why he's striking now. I won't offer clues because there are none as far as I could tell.

I loved that none of the actors are faces we know, so that kept the level of reality up and that the movie lasts about as long as a video camera's battery power.

The ending drew some boos from the audience, but I thought there was no other way to end it and felt satisfied based on how the whole thing is set up.


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Black Book makes fighting the Nazis almost fun again

***1/2 (out of 5)


Wow, an exciting, almost fun movie about fighting the Germans during World War II and incredibly, involving a Jew in the mix. You know this movie wasn't made by Hollywood. H-wood doesn't make fun World War II movies anymore, even though they used to be their bread and butter (Stalag 17, The Great Escape). But the Dutch director who made a big splash 15 years ago with a triple play of RoboCop, Total Recall and Basic Instinct, Paul Verhoeven, goes back to his native Holland to film the true story of the Dutch Resistance and the Jewish singer who did her best to help bring down the Nazis.

At first, Rachel is much like Anne Frank, hiding in her room from the Nazis, passing the time by studying a Bible so that her sponsors will feed her. If she recites a passage correctly she gets a bowl of soup, if she doesn't she starves for the night. But when events cause her to flee she can only turn to the Resistance for help. In exchange, she goes undercover as a Gestapo secretary and eventual mistress to help the Dutch win their freedom. I didn't understand why the Germans seemed so easygoing here as opposed to films that were set in Poland and France, butI was told that the German troops were stretched thin and the Dutch didn't seem to be much a threat.

Still there are moments that are pure Verhoeven. Like the gratuitous nudity and a scene involving feces that seems way over the top. Plus, the acting of the lead Carice van Houten seemed underwhelming for such a big part. Some pretty horrific things happen to her and she bounces back without any apparent emotional scars. I realize that the role was probably written that way, but a better actress could have done more with it. If Meryl Streep were playing this part, you could definitely have both the carefree moments and the haunting of the soul.

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Two Minute Eggs (soft-boiled reviews)

No End in Sight evenhandedly reveals how U.S. screwed up after Iraq War

**** (out of 5)

This documentary written and directed by an MIT professor named Charles Ferguson is eye-opening in showing how we made a colossal mess in the aftermath of the Iraq war, and how it didn't have to happen. This is not a film about why we should or shouldn't have gone to war there, that is never even brought up as an issue, but rather what we did wrong once we got there. And the subjects interviewed for the film are not some eggheads or for the most part journalists, but veteran people on the ground. CIA and State Department people who have years of experience in planning for such tasks and a couple of soldiers and a few local Iraqis. The man who worked directly under Colin Powell is amazing, because like many in the film, he's a lifelong Republican who could not be listened to by the Bush Administration. The war is less the problem in this film, than the occupation which was mishandled so badly and the subjects in this film see no good way out of it.


American Gangster--enjoyable, very fast 2:37, Crowe, Washington are great

****1/2

I think American Gangster is a better movie than The Departed and holds its own as a great movie. But it is not a classic, mostly because it wears its inspirations on its sleeve. There are moments that are very Godfather-esque, more so there are plenty of French Connection moments. One of my favorite scenes in FC is when Popeye Doyle is staking out the "Frog" from a freezing doorway across the street from a fancy French restaurant. As Popeye eats cold pizza and drinks cold coffee, the drug runner is eating an exquisite 7-course meal. A very similar scene shows up in AG, when heroin kingpin Frank Lucas (played by Denzel Washington) and his family sit around a big table in his Westchester mansion eating a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner, while struggling narcotics cop, Russell Crowe makes a very unappetizing-looking tuna sandwich in his tiny apartment. But just to add to the moment and sort of make it director Ridley Scott's own, he shows how the heroin addicts who use Denzel's junk are spending their Thanksgiving. Living in filthy apartments with screaming, hungry babies while they lay in half a coma with needles still hanging in their arms. Not subtle, but it gets the point across. Denzel is very good here, but plays this drug runner with such nobility that you almost forget what a scumbag he truly is. And Crowe's cop, like the filmmakers, is a little too enamored of Lucas by the end. The filmmakers even whitewash a bit of Lucas' history to make him more appealing to the audience.


Before the Devil Knows You're Dead excels at giving audience new information

***1/2

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead has one great thing going for it. An out-of-sequence timeline which piques your interest and never lets go. It is especially mindblowing when you think you already know what occurred, but then see it from a different point of view. Pulp Fiction restarted this trend, but it was Stanley Kubrick's The Killing which started it.
But I had two problems with the movie, the ending is a little too melodramatic and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Hoffman is in three movies this fall, and while I haven't seen The Savages yet, I expect this to be his least successful effort. He plays, Andy, the oldest of three Irish-American children who has become a semi-successful real estate agent while the rest of his life is falling part. His even less successful brother, Hank, played by Ethan Hawke, is a drone at his job and divorced from his incredibly nasty wife. His 10-year old daughter has been trained to be spoiled by the mother and is quickly growing away from him.
With their two lives a mess, these two geniuses decide to pull off the "perfect heist". They will rob their parents strip mall jewelry store on a Saturday morning when an old lady is running the shop. Things go wrong when Hank hires a loser to actually do the robbery and a shootout occurs. Hawke always skeeves me with his unwashed hair and slimeball eyes, so it's hard to generate any sympathy for him, but his character does ring true. Hoffman's performance on the other hand feels like a performance. Rather than seem tough, he seems like he's acting tough, acting like he's crying, acting crazy. I guess when it's done, I don't believe him in this role. As their father, Albert Finney gives a great performance and has the best little scene when he slaps his daughters hands for cutting his meat. Perfect example of an elderly parent who refuses to be babied.

Bob Dylan-inspired film I'm Not There--It Ain't For Me, Babe

**1/2

There are certain artists and groups like The Who and Bob Dylan who have maybe 25 great songs in their catalogues and then there is a precipitous falloff after that. In I'm Not There, many of those great songs are heard, but it's the lesser songs which make up the bulk of what you can call a story line. The idea behind the film is great, have six actors portray six different version of Bob's personas over the years. The best of the bunch is Cate Blanchett as the mid-60s Highway 61 Revisited Bob. Unfortunately, she shows Bob for what he truly is-a pretentious prick. So nasty and condescending to all around him. Having seen him numerous times in concert I know that's how he acts towards his fans, but it doesn't make you want to watch a movie about him. After the first 30 minutes or so, the movie becomes so aimless and shapeless that it made me start looking at my watch. Earlier this fall, Julie Taymor made a beautiful movie using The Beatles songs for the clay in shaping her story. That movie is light years ahead of this one.

Bug will make you want to grab a can of Raid

**

Ashley Judd put on a little weight for this role as a seriously depressed, formerly abused Texas woman who lives in a fleabag motel and waitresses in a honkeytonk bar. Based on a play by writer Tracy Letts, Bug is the story of how this lonely woman allows a stranger into her life (Michael Shannon) and her motel room and how after a quick love affair falls deep into his psychosis. They begin to see bugs which we're sure aren't there and their mania starts to get the better of them. I understand how he might be a deranged Army vet, who sees these things, but I'm never convinced at how he convinces her. When a horror movie starts to lose your interest it just becomes an exercise in gore. This movie took 94 minutes to watch and you start to count every last one.


Hitman-decent action movie, but not up to standards of the two main actors

*1/2

Movies based on video games lean toward the horrible, but this one is not that bad. It has a few big things on its mind as a boy is trained by a monk-like group to become a stone-cold assassin. But Agent 47 (Live Free or Die Hard's bad guy Timothy Olyphant) has a crisis of conscience and looks to save his intended victim. Some silliness abounds as Interpol searches all over Europe for this killer, even though he never tries to disguise himself. This despite always wearing a black suit with his cue ball white head with a bar code tattooed to the base of his skull. Not hard to spot. The shootout scenes are well-choreographed, but I will never be able to take seriously a stationary target who still manages to avoid being hit by machine gun bullets. Mission Impossible II's bad guy, Dougray Scott is ordinary here as the special agent in charge of tracking 47.


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